Archive for March, 2007

at least…

Tuesday, March 27th, 2007

what will you do,

i mean, what exactly comes into your mind,

when someone from your past ( a man, of course), called you on the sleepy afternoon,

just wanna say that he is going to get married with someone you dont even know (a woman, of course).. about four months later this year..

of course you’re so glad to hear that. But what if that guy (the one i called ‘ someone special’) was your very-very special guy, who once in your life, you were dreamt of being his wife on your perfect wedding someday in your future.. (like kind of childhood’s fairytale)..

hmm..

u have to know that, when i heard his voice saying that he’s invite me to his wedding, i pretend to be normal, (at least i try to sounds like normal).. but deep inside my head, my heart actually.. it just weird. huh?

no, not definetely a broken hearted- feelings..

just a glimpse of disappointed feelings, because..

for over two years, this guy, (yeah, that damn fuckin’ 9uy who’s gonna married), has tried to reach me (call me incidently, sent me email, and so on) anytime he wants (it could be in the middle of my exam, in the middle of the night, on the traffics), acted like he likesssss me soo much he wanna hold me ( did he??).. hahaahaha..

once i told my friend bout those attitudes, they say, he just wanna keep in touch with me. But (this is serious!), he said, i’ve ever had the special place in his heart. God! can you believe it?! stupidly, i believe it was.. (poor me..)

in Indonesian, this kind of feeling (or attitudes?), called : nggantung ====> when you feel someone try to get close with you, tease you, build the hope inside of you, then… just walk away leftg you with BIG QUESTION MARK : "Did he ever really love me???, did he tell the truth?"

And now, i’ve got the answer. No, he didn’t. Maybe he did, but he didn’t mean it!.. arhghh..

but now, at least i know :

1. we weren’t meant to be.

2. you are number one bulshit in the world.

3. you’re happy, that’s for sure.

"I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that some psychopath was trying to break the two of you up. Luckily, I woke up and I see that the world is just as it should be. For my best friend has won the best woman."

(my best friend’s wedding, 1997)

Buat Deny Nurya Kusuma,

cant wait for your 7th July 2007, one day before your birthday will be your wedding, isn’t it?

i’ll come.. as you wish ;)

Senyum (Palsu) Selebriti

Saturday, March 3rd, 2007

Gue suka heran kalo ada oknum-oknum yang menyalahartikan dan menyalahgunakan kata : Selebriti. Kalo nonton infotainment, setiap narasumber yg diwawancara (asal dia terkenal), dikasih titel : Selebriti. Baru ngebintangin sinetron satu doang (udah gitu, kayak bagus aja sinetronnya!), dikasih label : Selebriti. Then, pikiran gue berkelana (taelah..), gue yang gak gaul krn gak tau dia (baca : oknum seleb jadi2an itu), ato emang dia yang gak well known untuk dianggap selebriti…

Buat gue sendiri, gak semua artis/bintang sinetron/ pekerjaseni apalah namanya, pantas dibilang selebriti. Syaratnya menurut gue : Satu, dia harus punya track record yang panjang di blantika dunia hiburan, diwujudkan dlm bentuk karya seni, prestasi, dan telah mendapat apresiasi positif dr masyarakat. Membuat sensasi?? Sesekali boleh.. tapi gak melulu sensasi. So, intinya : Angel Lelga, Maria Eva, sapalahitu jelas BUKAN selebriti! (enak aja!! Sewot gitu gue).

Gue pernah nonton di infotainment, seleb yang senga’ abis. Semua hal kayaknya penting banget biar orang tau (loh?? Berarti gue juga senga’ dong, hehe), kadang (ilmu psikologinya bekerja), gue makin gerah kalo dia boong, omong doang, ama rada norak. Tapi tetep aja gue suka nonton infotainment (lah?? Soo?? Aduh gak jelas juga paragraf ini).

Gue pernah bbrp kali ketemu seleb, artis, dsb (pokoknya yg beken di tipi lah), secara langsung. Baik yang sifatnya gak sengaja, maupun yg diniatin. Dulu, gue pernah 2 kali 1 lift bareng Ari Wibowo, berasa bertemu malaikat. Yes, that’s the power of ‘celebrity’. Kayak ada cahaya terpancar pas dia dekat kita (apaan seh gue.).. Trus pas SMA, gue nonton AADC di PS, ehh ketemu Dian Sastro di WC beskopnya, langsung deh minta TTD (maklum anak SMA!).. Seiring waktu, semakin banyak mall, semakin banyak potensi gue bertemu orang2 beken tsb. Dan gue berkesimpulan (atau mengeluarkan judgement, tepatnya, menghakimi,) kalo mereka itu punya yg namanya : Faking Smile, alias Senyum Palsu.

Desember taun lalu, gue taksengaja (walo udah gueprediksi) masuk ke surga selebriti. Satu hari di Jiffest, gue dkk terperangkap dalam suasana glamor, malam premiere-nya Jakarta Undercover (yg entah kpn tu film akan gue tonton). Sejauh mata memandang, yang gue liat seleb (serius, ini bener2 selebritis!), gak ada sih yg personally gue idolain, tapi mau gak mau jd ikutan norak (haha, maap ya ning, mo, gue awalnya beneran gak norak loh). Gue sempet memegang sikunya Luna Maya (halus gila, kayak furnitur baru diamplas), maksutnya mau mengajak dia foto bareng dengan si Timo, dan dalam hati, saat berada di sana, gue mikir,

“Oh gini yaa… jadi artis beken. Cipika cipiki, Say Hi, ngobrol sana sini, ketawaketiwi, dan most  of them, shown their faking attitudes!”.

Gue sempet foto bareng dengan salah satu aktor film (halah, sebut aja : Restu Sinaga, tau gak lo, sapa??), menurut gue sih dia SeKuTer (Seleberiti Kurang Terkenal). Tapi karena lagi menderita NORAK, fotolah gue. Agak2 pengen nyubit dia, bukan gara2 gemes (ganteng sih, nyed!), tapi ngeliat kalo dia gak pay attention aja pas gue minta foto bareng, udah matanya ngeloyor kemana2, dingin, padahal udah gue coba membuka basa-basi (yang penting usaha!).. Bbrp minggu kemudian, gue liat dia tampil di Dorce Show,dan gue tersenyum2 sendiri, bilang ke nyokap gue : “Ma!! Aku foto bareng dia lohh!!!!”,, Ahh,, dia punya cahaya selebriti itu juga rupanya…

Gue ikutan premiere film “Badai Pasti Berlalu” nya Vino Bastian yg diadakan oleh sebuah majalah remaja 2 bulan lalu. Pas ada games, gue kebetulan menang, (dgn menjawab pertanyaan “sebutkan 3 film Vino Bastian!) haha.. brengseknya, si MC bilang kalo gue adalah salah satu FANS BERAT Vino Bastian, DIDEPAN si Vino-nya sendiri yg hadir hadir saat itu. Yang ada, gue gondok berat, dan yeah.. gue (dan bbrp pemenang games lain) foto bareng ama Vino dan artis2 film itu. I saw his faking smile, saat dia liat gue menjawab pertanyaan ttg dirinya. Dan, sumpah.. Cahaya Selebriti itu TIDAK gue lihat didirinya. Maap ya, Vino.. next time mungkin.. =)

Tau Ririn Dwi Ariyanti? Si pemeran Cinta dlm serial TV AADC. She’s one of my best friend when we were at the Junior High. Temen nyontek bareng, temen curhat dan nongkrong bareng, temen sekamar waktu trip ke Jogja, come to my house, n i’ll show u our pictures together yg masih rapih tersimpan. Pas SMA, kita ada di SMA yg sama, dan walopun gak sedekat waktu SMP, bbrp kali kita suka bertukar cerita. Waktu itu dia blum jd artis. Masih yaa.. biasa aja gitu.. ky yg lain, walaupun tetep cantik dan beken di SMA gue.

Setelah 3,5 tahun lepas SMA, komunikasi hny sebatas SMS Ultah dan Lebaran, basa-basi tny apa kabarnya?, sementara gue tau sepak terjang dia di dunia showbiz. Main sinetron, MC, Presenter infotainment, dan udah punya cowok ( dia udh settle down rupanya, pdhl waktu SMP, Wuih.. bnyk bgt mantan2nya..).

Gue ketemu Ririn di acara wedding salahsatu temen SMA kami. Dia datang ama cowoknya (yg tersebut diatas), dan gue datang sendiri (gak ding, ama sepupu gue, cewek.. intinya gak punya cowok, tetepp..). Suprisingly, pas kita bertemu, dia bukan hanya bercipika-cipiki ama gue, dia memeluk gue, erat sekali. Dia bilang kangen dah lama gak ketemu ama gue. Gue juga dr awal excited sih pas ketemu dia, yahh kayak lo ketemu temen lama gitu.. Ririn makin cantik dan dewasa. Dia confirm no HP gue di HPnya, dia juga ngenalin gue ke cowoknya, nanya kapan gue menikah (taelah, namanya juga acara kawinan..), and so on.. Pas pulang, dia pamit ke gue, dia melambaikan tangan.. dan gue melihat senyumnya.

Senyum tulus. Senyum teman lama gue yg kembali gue temukan wujudnya. No, she’s definetely not yet celebrity (hehe, maap ya, Rin!), karena cahaya selebriti itu gak muncul dalam diri dia saat gue melihatnya, tapi dia punya senyum tulus yg sampe skrg bikin gue menerawang ngeliat dan berharap, dia bisa jauh lebih sukses dan bahagia, sebagai apapun (artis kek, mahasiswa kek.. terserah..)

Jadi intinya, benarkah senyum palsu selebriti itu benar2 ada? Atau jgn2  karena gue mengenal si ‘artis’, senyum itu menjadi tak tampak?